What if you NEVER get there?

4 months ago

About a twelvemonth ago, I decided to make a large alteration to this very newsletter you’re reading.

You see, from 2020-2023 I was beautiful unmotivated to do my job.

Which is benignant of amazing, erstwhile you recognize that I person complete autonomy, created Nerd Fitness, and fundamentally built my ain job.

I had spent years trying to beryllium nan personification that I thought Nerd Fitness and nan organization needed maine to be, alternatively of doing what I’m really bully astatine (writing absorbing things successful nosy ways and helping group level up).

How did I find myself successful that unwanted place?

One mini determination aft another, slow complete galore years.

I kept picking projects I didn’t for illustration and forcing myself to do them, but justified it to myself by saying, “I conscionable person to do this until [arbitrary extremity aliases date], and past I tin beryllium done.”

The problem of course, was that I ne'er reached my arbitrary goal. Or I changed what nan extremity was, aliases nan world changed, aliases nan business changed.

I ended up spending each time doing thing I didn’t like, for a payoff that ne'er came.

I did this for years, and burned myself out.

After lots of therapy, agelong walks, psyche searching and failing repeatedly, I yet asked nan important question: If I NEVER “get there,” what would I do differently?

I realized I had to alteration really I spent my clip and really I group goals.

Instead of doing worldly I didn’t for illustration and hoping for an eventual payoff, I restructured my time astir why I started Nerd Fitness successful nan first place:

Reading wide astir random topics that pique my interest, and past sharing my excited thoughts connected those topics pinch a bunch of nerds (hey, that’s you!).

Since then, I’ve written dozens of newsletters astir weird topics, hobbies, life, philosophy, and everything successful between:

The Japanese accuracy I can’t extremity reasoning about.
Why we should STOP believing successful ourselves.
We’re all grapes connected a vine.
Why you shouldn’t beryllium for illustration me.
The creation of Swedish Death Cleaning.

130,000+ group now get this newsletter each week, and it’s only reinforced my determination to extremity focusing connected nan destination and get backmost to uncovering ways to bask nan journey.

I scheme connected penning this newsletter for decades to come, and I americium excited astir this opportunity to email you weird worldly weekly.

I now inquire you nan aforesaid question.

What if you ne'er “get there”?

Years ago, I stumbled crossed personification connected Reddit asking what nan worst portion was astir being overweight.

One reply collapsed my heart:

“The truth that you put your full life connected hold, telling yourself that you will resume surviving erstwhile you suffer nan weight. Then, not being accordant pinch said weight nonaccomplishment travel and basically…never getting to genuinely live.”

Every day, I spot group doing workout they hate, aliases trying to travel a fare they don’t enjoy, to scope an arbitrary number connected nan standard that they deliberation will make them happy.

Most can’t instrumentality pinch nan fare aliases workout for much than a fewer weeks, get demoralized, and springiness up.

Others negociate to suffer nan weight, only to recognize seeing a smaller number connected their standard didn’t magically lick each of their problems. They determine nan regular misery isn’t worthy it.

It’s clip to flip nan book and springiness up!

We’ll ne'er “get there,” because “there” isn’t an existent spot we tin get. It’s a authorities of mind.

This should alteration really we deliberation astir nan workout aliases fare we choose, nan extremity we creation our life around, aliases nan anticipation we group for ourselves.

My extremity pinch this newsletter, and for our coaching clients, is helping group scope nan pursuing realization:

Finding ways to bask exercise, and making dietary changes that don’t consciousness overwhelming, is nan only way forward. Even better, this often results successful reaching our goals faster than erstwhile we chased fads aliases strategies we hated!

I’m reminded of this quote from philosopher Sam Harris:

“Most of your life is nan process of solving problems.

It is not, and ne'er will be, a information of basking successful nan absence of each problems. There will ever beryllium thing to do.”

Author Mark Manson put it much succinctly:

“Don’t dream for a life pinch nary problems. Hope for a life pinch amended problems.”

What are you going to do differently?

As Albert Camus explains about Sisyphus pushing nan boulder up nan hill, there’s a beautiful state that comes pinch acceptance of ne'er “getting there”:

Sisyphus is “free” from nan dream he would ever succeed. He accepts his destiny he would ne'er win, and frankincense tin conscionable get to activity connected uncovering meaning successful pushing that rock, watching it rotation backmost down, and starting complete again.

None of america are getting retired of present alive, and coming is nan only guarantee.

I want to perceive astir what you would do otherwise if you knew you would ne'er “get there.”

What would you change?

Would you:

Pick a type of workout you actually like?
Go connected that trip, moreover if you haven’t mislaid nan weight yet?
Find a measurement to beryllium “pretty good, astir of nan time” pinch your diet?
Shift your attraction from weight nonaccomplishment to improving your narration pinch food?